Many of you know that I am a twin. Often, people ask questions that are well intentioned but not well thought out. Questions like, “What’s it like being a twin?” I would respond, “I don’t know, what’s it like not being a twin?” This response is intended to expose that I don’t know what’s it’s like because I have nothing to compare it to.
There is also something that I have gotten used to and learned to easily recognize. It’s “the side look.” This is the look that someone gives me because they think they know me, but aren’t quit sure. So, they pass buy me to get a closer look giving me “the side look.” Another variation of the look is that people smile and realize that the blank stare in my eyes does not recognize them as a friend, because, well, their not. They know my brother not me. The smile then turns to confusion.
Often people don’t believe that I’m a twin. After I tell them, they act as if I’m joking, dismissing my comments and continuing with the place we met before, or picking up where a conversation left off. For instance, a long time ago, I went to my brother’s church and the head pastor wanted to to talk to me about church business in the parking lot. I told him that I was looking for Jeremy and he didn’t quit get that I wasn’t joking with him.
Some would think that I would get mad that people get me confused with my brother. They think that I would get mad that they called me the wrong name. But, really, it’s never bothered me. It’s never been a detriment to my personal identity because there is another guy on this planet that looks exactly like me. In fact, he’s one of the best people I know. I am honored to get confused for him.
I’ve learned over the years that when I am getting “the side look” to just introduce myself and be prepared to say things like, “No I’m really not joking. Yes, we really do look and sound alike” and, “I don’t know what’s it like not being a twin?”