I have talked before about occupying two worlds here Mixed Race, Tortillas, and #DecolonizeLutheranism so I don’t really feel the need to talk about it again. I will say that I am constantly trying to deal with the white privilege that I have while at the same time being Latino and not always understanding were white folk are coming from.

I’ve also attended more Anti-Racism classes than I can remember.  They have taken many forms whether they be 2 hours, 6 hours, or weekend events with multiple sessions. The programs have looked different with some being more engaging than others.

Anyway, in general, my problem with anti-racism classes are not the classes themselves but that everyone attending are at different places.

For some they need to be convinced that systemic racism and white privilege are  real things.  They want it solely make it about the individual action and intentions that people have. And since they don’t have those they can’t be racists. One reason being shown how it works on a systems level is essential to understanding what People of Color experience on a daily basis.

Others strongly believe that racism is a problem still and understand that systemic racism is prevalent but that somehow they stand outside of that problem.  As if being a white liberal exempts them from having bigotry and prejudice in their own hearts. These folks act as if racism is something that exist purely at a systemic reality and they, being enlightened, exist outside of it. White liberals are racist too.

For People of Color, they are made aware that this space isn’t really for them. At one of the most recent events I went to we are asked was that if we had ever had a Latino in our home. My brother responded, “Every damn day.”  Three of us who are Latino started laughing. That wasn’t a questions that was for us. So, I question what is there for us in these events?

I find myself feeling so awkward in these spaces because I am embarrassed for people. Vulnerability could just be white fragility. Anger could just be unprocessed paralyzing white guilt.

Surely there is another way.  Am I being too critical here?

So, here is my time to come out to those of you who don’t know.

I am now divorced.

It’s actually been awhile but I haven’t felt the need to talk about it publicly for a variety of reasons. I have been reflecting on myself and the whole process of divorce and have jotted some stuff down throughout the year. Here it goes…

• Accept emotional roller coasters.
• Trust your intuitions about relationships. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s most likely not. It really does take two people for a marriage to work.
• Realize and try to accept that all issues may not be resolved. Life doesn’t always resolve with tidy bows on them.
• Forgiveness is a daily practice.
• Divorce affects more relationships than just you and your spouse. More relationships are affected than you will know.
• Divorce especially sucks if you liked your spouses family.
• When people ask, try and talk only about what you did wrong, not what your spouse did.
• If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Sometimes this means being in the same room and not talking.
• Families tend to rally around their own. It’s natural for family to want to defend their family member and place blame on the other.
• No matter how much I want to justify myself, I am also to blame.
• Take one for the team if you have children. This means having to push things aside for the sake of your children.
• Children suffer the most. They are the ones who have to travel from house to house.
• Mourning takes a while. Let it.

(Quick Disclaimer: I recognize that every divorce is different. These were notes I wrote to myself and do not mean for them to be universal in their application. I wrote myself these notes to remind myself of my own ideals.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about white privilege and racism in these United States for a while now. I’ve been collecting articles that I like and feel would be helpful to describe what is going on.  Today I post them.

If you have any contributions please leave it in the comment section of this blog.

Explaining White Privilege to a Broke White Person

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

What I said when my white friend asked for my black opinion on white privilege

Dante and David apply for the same job but only one gets an interview. Here’s the rest of their day.

The racist housing policy that made your neighborhood

Dear White America: which form of protest do you prefer?

Post your articles below.

The story of Our Lady of Guadalupe is amazing to me for two reasons. First is the person of Juan Diego. Second, is the image imprinted on the tilma.

Juan Diego was an Indian who recently had converted to Catholicism. Let’s be honest, these weren’t willing conversions.

Juan Diego received a message of divine revelation in his own context.  In Aztec culture you could be assured that the divine was speaking to you if flowers and songs were present. You’ll notice that at the beginning of the story Juan Diego notices the bird singing before Mary appears. The story ends with the flowers he wrapped in his tilma. The songs of the birds and flowers are confirmation that the divine was present.

The appearance of Mary was given to someone outside the power structure of the Catholic Church. God speaks to an Indian, not the Bishop, and tells him to bring a message to the people in power. The Bishop, the one who is perceived to have the authority of God, is now placed in the position of having to listen to God through the ones that he had subjugated. Just when we begin to believe that God only works through the church and the people God has given to those who are in charge, Mary appears to a poor Indian. It’s like the hot lava of divine revelation had to break through the magma that had solidified at the top of the volcano of institutional powers. So, Juan Diego delivers the message to the powers that be that a church must be built at Tepeyac. (Interesting side note: The hill were the appearance took place was previously a temple to the Aztec Mother Goddess Tonantzin)

The image that was imprinted on the tilma is amazing because of the symbolic meanings that it would have given the indigenous of Mexico. The first is that the girl does not look like a Spaniard, but indigenous. She has dark skin signifying she is like them.  As for the image itself, Virgilio Elizondo writes:

“The lady hides the sun but does not extinguish it. This is most important, for the missionaries were trying to destroy everything of the native religions as diabolical. She is greater than the natives’ greatest manifestation of the deity, the sun, but she does not destroy it. She will transcend, but not do away with. This is the assurance that their ancient way of life will continue, but now reinterpreted through something new and greater. she is standing upon the moon and therefore superior to their second greatest manifestation of the deity.

She wears the turquoise mantle. Turquoise was the color reserved for the supreme deity, who alone could bring harmonious unity out of the opposing forces that governed the universe. Her dress was the pale red  of the blood sacrifices. She had assumed the blood sacrifices of her people and was now offering herself to her people. She appears with hands folded over her heart and pointed in the direction of the people.-the native sign of the offering of self to others.

She who was greater than all their divinities was herself not a goddess, for she wore no mask and her eyes were beautiful. In her eyes, the image of  a person is easily discerned. In her eyes, every generation of Mexicans has seen themselves personally accepted, respected, loved, and valued. There is nothing more life giving than to see ourselves reflected, accepted, and valued in the eyes of  an important other. In the very gaze of the eyes there is rebirth.

This beautiful lady who is truly from above and yet very much on of their own is pregnant, for she wears the waist band of maternity. Furthermore, over her womb, one finds the ancient Aztec glyph for the center of the universe. Thus, she, according to ancient Nahuatl cosmology, has assumed the five previous ages-called suns-and is now the sign of the sixth age. What she offers to the world she carries within her womb; the new center of the universe about to be born in the Americas. Through the lady millions would approach the church for Christian instruction and baptism.”

The Future is Mestizo, pg. 63-64

 After taking this class at the Jesuit Seminary, I understood what she means. She is a sign of liberation for a people who had been oppressed. She is a sign that God doesn’t always work through the power structures. Previous forms religion and culture do not need to be demonized or done away with because of oppressive colonial conversions and rule. Our Lady of Guadalupe carries in her new life for the world, Jesus, who would save us all from even from the ways we abuse Christianity.

Our Lady of Guadalupe has this special place in Mexican culture that I haven’t always understood. My grandmother, aunts, and uncles, would at one point or another urge me to call on her to pray for me and whatever situation I was going through. Growing up Catholic this is no surprise. But, she didn’t really move me all that much.

It wasn’t until I took a class at the Jesuit Seminary at the Graduate Theological Seminary did I being to appreciate her and what she means.

In this post we will learn the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe. In the next post we will learn what the story and image means. It’s actually pretty awesome!

The story of Our Lady of Guadalupe is written down in a tract published in 1649 in Mexico City by Luis Las0 De la Vega. written in Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs. Luis Laso De La Vega was a vicar at the chapel at Tepeyac. Tepeyac is the hill where the appearances took place.

Here is the story in visual form. (unfortunately I am unable to imbed so click on link to go to Youtube to watch video)

I am mixed race.  My mother’s roots reside in England and my father’s roots are from Mexico.  While my last name is Serrano, I did not inherit my father’s dark hair or features, except the lines that surround  my eyes, a testimony to indegenious peoples, or so my father claims.

While being so white, and benefiting from white privilege in so many ways, I straddle two worlds. I grew up in San Ysidro, California, a thoroughly Mexican community.  I still remember living with my grandmother who always had different women making tortillas  in the kitchen.  These kind ladies were always willing to share one with me.  I even admit that when they were not looking I might have stolen a couple for consumption outside on the back patio (Sorry Señoras!).

I straddle two worlds because I have never really felt part of one culture or ethnicity.  I was never really seen as Mexican-American by people in my community. The kids at school called us Los Guerros. And, later on, when I went to a predominately white school, I didn’t feel like I belonged either. It was an entirely different culture.

One author writes about the experience of straddling two worlds.  Virgilio Elizondo writes, “Being a Jew in Galilee was very much like being a Mexican-American in Texas. As the Jews in Galilee were too Jewish to be accepted by the gentile population and too contaminated with pagan ways to be accepted by the pure-minded Jews of Jerusalem, so have the Mexican-Americans in the southwest been rejected by two groups.”

Jesus understands fully what it means to stand in two worlds. Elizondo writes, “The fact that Jesus had been conceived by the Holy Spirit means that the people did not know how he had been conceived. According to human standards, he was of doubtful origins, and thus by reason of his very birth he entered into solidarity with the masses whose origins are questioned by those in power.”

By the very nature of the incarnation Jesus understands what it means to be in two worlds. He is able to fully identify with the Galileans. Jesus understands what it means for me (a White-Mexican) to be a person who doesn’t fully feel at home in any culture by the nature of my birth.

It’s interesting that I ended up being Lutheran. There is something by the nature of theology that draws me ever so closely into the primacy of God’s grace. And yet, once again, I sometimes find myself straddling two worlds.

One the one side is the beautiful Lutheran theology that I have come to love. On the other side is the culture from which Lutheran theology  has is roots.

Recently there has been a movement within Lutheranism that has sought to show that one doesn’t have to be of Scandinavian or German decent to be Lutheran. So there have been Memes that say, “You might be a Lutheran if…”

This is not lutefisk.

I think these memes should be listened to. I think people should reflect on their own understanding of what it means to be a Lutheran and show that the primary language of Lutheransim need only be theology not the culture from which it came.

Lutherans, stop and listen to those who are involved in #decolonizelutheranism. They have something valuable to say.

Also check these two people out who have written in this…

Jeremy Serrano This is What a Lutheran Looks Like

Tuhina Rasche DecolonizeLutheranism