October 25, 2012 · 10:22 am

Liberty and Civil Discourse

Too often I hear those with strong left or right political ideologies labeling the other in an attempt to demonize their standings. I hear the word fascist or communist thrown around depending on who I’m talking to. In our country I am starting to think the debate isn’t about liberty and the restriction of liberty, but about what type of liberty to which we adhere. The types of liberty are spelled out in Isaiah Berlin’s essay Two Concepts of Liberty.
The first type is negative liberty, which is the freedom from interference.  Andrew Heywood sums it up when he writes in Political Ideologies, “..in that freedom consists in each person being left along, free from interference and able to act in whatever way they may choose. This conception of Freedom is ‘negative’ in that it is based on the absence of external restrictions or constraints on the individual (pg. 31).”   Now I can see most of those who hold to more libertarian views say that this is exactly what they are after.  With the Constitution as their guide and the government leaving them own they can do anything.  They might argue that leaving them alone is the what liberty actually means.  With this conception of liberty being left alone is actually what causes innovation and therefor jobs.

The second type of Liberty is positive.  Heywood writes, “defined by Berlin as the ability to develop skills and talents, broaden his or her understanding, and gain fulfillment (pg.31).”   This is the freedom to pursue the good life.  One is not so free to pursue the good life if they don’t have equal access to the resources of education, health care, and housing.  This concept of liberty looks at the broader systems that keep people from pursuing the good life.  It recognizes the collective element to our society and seeks to free people from these systems by taking steps to correct them.  So, having a preexisting condition, before Obamacare, meant that a person was not free to have health care insurance and could go broke with costs of said condition.  Positive liberty seeks to liberate people from the conditions that can keep them down.
It seems that debating these two types of liberty is actually what is going on in our political discourse.  When I hear people talking online it seems like the merits of these two positions are actually what is being argued.

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October 4, 2012 · 1:44 pm

I Changed My Mind: Contemporary Christian Music

Going to non-denominational churches meant that I heard a lot of the newest contemporary worship music out there. For those of you that don’t know, the worship space in most of these churches is set up like a concert venue with maybe a pulpit and a cross at the center. Music and Bible Study take center stage.
Toward my end of being involved in that movement I was disheartened by the music and it’s sentimentality that lacked theological conviction. I started to amount this musical depth to “Jesus you’re my boyfriend.” You know, the type of song where you could replace the name of Jesus with your lovers name and no one would know the difference. I wanted music that had some theological depth and breadth that could stand that test of time, namely hymns. There are still some songs I can’t hear without laughing out loud, the “Victory Chant (Hail Jesus)” and “Shout to the North.” So I stopped listening to Christian music all together. And frankly for that amount of time I was better off. I learned to like other music again. But, something started to happen to me. I started to reevaluate my prejudice. After about 6 hears I have began once again to listen to some contemporary Christian music. I won’t defend all contemporary Christian music, because let’s face it, there is a lot of bad music out there.
There is a quality to some of the music that echoes scripture and has an integrity and deep sense of theological inquiry, which relies heavily on the same questions and longings that the Psalms, Lamentations, Song of Songs, and Prophets espouse. So, I changed my mind. I will not bash contemporary Christian music anymore. I will judge it on a song-by-song basis.
I could never go back to non-denominational worship services. I like being firmly established in a liturgical tradition that takes Word and Sacrament as the mode by which our Triune God comes to us. But, I might be playing it on my ipod every once and a while.

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August 12, 2012 · 7:44 am

Taking Parenting Personally

How do you parent?  I am assuming that your parenting choices are the result of deeply held values, what works best for your child, and probably how you were raised.  You might belong to a community or have friends that raises their children in a similar manner or an online support group.  You might have read some books and have some deep reasoning for how and why you parent the way you do. How do you feel about the Furber Method or Attachment parenting? Very different styles here. Do you spank? Do you think spanking is abhorrent?

Now, what happens when you meet and talk to someone that parent’s differently than you?  How do you react to them telling you that the way they parent is the exact opposite of the way you parent?  

My brother and I are pretty different in the way we parent our children.  Jeremy is very into routines and we are not. A few months ago we were have this conversation about parenting and I noticed that I was getting offended at the way he parents.  After further reflection it was because it was as if the way he parents was judgement on the way I parent.  Now, you could say that this is just sibling rivalry, but we are mature enough to process the conversations that we have. So I asked him how he was feeling about our conversation. It turns out he was also taking it very personally.

I have also noticed that when I talk to most people about parenting, there seems to be some tension.  It is as if the way I parent is a judgment on their parenting choices. Maybe it is a judgment?  I mean after all I have chosen to raise my children in a certain way because I think that is how to facilitate making thoughtful and mature adults.  But then, most of our choices could be seen as judgments against other peoples choices. This really is no way to live.

So I want to propose some rules on how to talk with others about parenting.

1. Listen.
2. Ask questions.
3. Don’t judge.
4. Only talk about your own parenting choices.  Don’t talk about others “poor” choices. That is probably a good rule of life too. It’s not nice to bash others.
5. Don’t take is personally when someones parenting choices contradict yours.
6. Be nice and respectful.
7. Be aware of how you are feeling when you are talking about parenting.

It seems that these are just good rules of conversation in general.

How has your experience been talking to others about parenting?

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July 27, 2012 · 2:52 pm

Prayer

I came across this when reading a book by Brennan Manning.  

“Is your own personal prayer life characterized by the simplicity, childlike candor, boundless trust, and easy familiarity of a little one crawling up in Daddy’s lap?  An assured knowing that the daddy doesn’t care if the child falls asleep, starts playing with toys, or even starts chatting with friends, because the daddy knows the child has essentially chosen to be with him for that moment?  Is that the spirit of your interior prayer life?”  

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April 6, 2012 · 9:31 am

My Wife is Funny and Ecumenism

Yesterday I had to opportunity to participate in an ecumenical foot washing and and service oriented event at the Episcopal Center in Ocean beach. All different types of denominations were represented and eager to serve those in need.  300 people signed up to receive new shoes, meals, haircuts, foot washing, prayer, communion, vet care (for their animals), medical care, help acquiring identification, and other services.  I helped with communion.  Bishop Mathes, the Episcopal Bishop was there, and since my wife Enrique is Episcopalian, I thought it would be funny to take a picture with him and send it to her.  The message said, “Hanging with your Bishop.” 

Image

Well, this morning, Enrique went to serve meals to those in need at TACO in Downtown San Diego.  TACO is housed at 1st Lutheran Church.  I was not able to be there this morning.  Well, funny thing is I received this picture with a text message this morning, “Hanging with your Bishop!”  

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This is Bishop Holmerud from the Sierra Pacific Synod in Northern California, which is the Synod I was assigned to in October.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  My wife is very funny. 

 

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January 20, 2012 · 2:29 pm

Quote

St. Dimitrii of Rostov, a 17th century Russian Bishop.

“Come, my Light, and illumine my darkness.
Come, my Life, and revive me from death.
Come, my Physician, and heal my wounds.
Come, Flame of divine love, and burn up the thorns of my sins, kindling my heart with thy flame of love.
Come, my King, sit upon the throne of my heart and reign there. For thou alone art my King and my Lord.”

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January 12, 2012 · 8:53 pm

Ecumenical Lunches

Once a month, pastors from the Point Loma/Ocean Beach area gather together for lunch and fellowship.  No agenda is needed, we just enjoy each other’s company.  All pastors are welcome. If some do not come, it’s not because they weren’t invited.  The denominations represented today were: Lutheran, Episcopalian, Nazarene, Methodist, Catholic (both nuns and a priest), Presbyterian, Baptist, and non-denominational.  We shared a nice lunch at the Catholic church, we also rotate who hosts.

I am really impressed by how this group operates.  We look for things to do together for the sake of Ocean Beach.  When I first arrived in 2010 I was involved in helping with helping create a space for people to talk about issues surrounding homelessness. Remember the sticker that garnered national headlines?

The clergy had a series of forums that included residents, business owners, and the homeless.  We were hoping to calm the powder keg that was about to go off from these stickers.  I lead a group of folks that had all three of these groups talking in a civil way about their concerns for Ocean Beach. It was an amazing experience. I saw people start to realize that the people sitting across from them where actually people, not “the other.” By God’s grace nothing bad happened to the homeless or businesses.

We have also found ways of proclaiming God’s Word together.  On Good Friday we had an ecumenical faith walk.  We started at the Catholic church, read part of the passion narrative, and then processed to the next church and continued the narrative. In total we visited 5 churches.  There were 200 people in attendance representing most of the denomination in Ocean Beach. We held up traffic because the procession was so long!

Here is a picture from the service.

We are planning on holding an ecumenical foot washing for Maundy Thursday.

Most of all, I am impressed about how we do not let our theological differences impede our fellowship.  We could easily start a fight over an number of issues, but we don’t, we respect each others space and traditions.  That’s the beautiful nature of this group, we stay true to our own theological heritage, respect theirs, and see Christ working amongst our respective ministries.  I am honored to have been part of these lunches.  I am honored to have served in Ocean Beach with such a great group of clergy.  I hope that wherever God calls me there will be a group willing to share the city and proclaim Christ and him crucified.

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January 7, 2012 · 8:06 pm

Beer: Bitterness and Barf

Tonight, Enrique and I took a trip to BJ’s, which is a chain brewhouse restaurant.  This restaurant has some of their own beers and a good gluten free menu. Enrique has been gluten free since about the time we got married. They have gluten free pizza, beer, and now pizookies.  We just learned about the pizookie.

I order their light beer sampler which included their Lightswitch Lager, Blonde, Hefeweizen, and Piranha Pale Ale.

Something sad happened as soon as I received my beer, Sebastian threw up. Well, I just received the beer and we had ordered our food so we really couldn’t just leave at that point. Sebastian said he was feeling better so I just ran to target and purchased him a new clothes. Crises averted. Thank God the target was across the parking lot.

Enrique had a gluten free pizza and I had a normal one. Isaac, our 1 year old, ate both of our pizzas indiscriminately.

Since I have been trying to be more discerning about beers I drink I am definitely disappointed with their light selection of beer.  The Lightswitch Lager tasted like alcoholic soda water.  That’s what you get when it tagline contains the calories.  The Blonde was a little better, but I’ve also had better blondes, no pun intended. In my mind the Hefeweizen and Pale Ale where the better beers.  Hefeweizens are always fruity and and the Pale Ale had a good taste that didn’t make me throw my head back.  The overall experience left me feeling a little bitter.  That’s what I get for going to a chain brewhouse and restaurant.

I am looking forward to getting some better beers down my gullet. What do you think about BJ’s Beers?

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January 6, 2012 · 10:35 am

Beer: Taking Inventory

I have reasonable New Year resolutions. This year there are three.  One, Learn more about beer. Two, not buy any books with my own money.  Three, lose weight. I realize one and three have potential conflict.

My plan of attack in learning about beer will be to sample widely, read, and talk with others.  I would like to be able to intelligently talk about beer, not necessarily become a beer sommelier. A good friend, Jeremy Fuerst recommended that I go through this Beer Judge Certification Program. Looking at how they organize styles of beer will help me learn to describe styles and know what to expect.

In starting this resolution I am not a blank slate. I drink beer. So, here is a list of beers I like.

Blue Moon

Corono, Pacifico, Dos Equis, Modelo

Fat Tire

Ballist Point Pale Ale

Almost any Hefeweizen

Boddingtons

Stella Artois

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

It seems to me that I am attracted to lighter beers.

How do you think I should handle this endeavor?  What can you tell me about the beers that I am attracted to?

 

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December 5, 2011 · 9:37 pm

On Sexting

Recently my wife and I had the rare opportunity to spend a night away from our children. One of the great things we did was saw a movie together.  Through some negotiating and compromise we agreed on Crazy, Stupid, Love. We both really liked this movie.  It was an all star cast and the story line probed the depths of human desire to be connected to each other. (This is a spoiler alert!) 

In tying up the story line between Jessica (who is a high school senior) and Robbie (who is in the 8th grade) there is scene at the end of the movie that is the reason for this blog post. Jessica hands Robbie naked photos of herself and says something to the effect of, “This will get you through high school.”

Because it was the end of the move and the way the music was playing it was obvious that the viewer is supposed to be endeared by this act of naked picture sharing. What passes for endearing is great indicator of what society has deemed socially acceptable.

This made me want to reflect and research the common use of sexting between adolescents. For those of you who don’t know sexting is texting naked photos of yourself.

Here is what I have found.  I got this quote from Psychology Today:

One survey suggests, 1 in 5 teens admitted to posting sexually explicit pictures on-line. To help understand teen sexting behaviors,” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl .com conducted a survey with 653 teens (ages 13-19) to explore the sexual use of sending or posting sexually suggestive messages or texts.  Some of their findings are listed below:

Teens who say they have sent or posted a sexually revealing photo or video:

  •  20% of all teens
  •  22% of teen girls
  •  18% of teen boys

Teens that have sent sexually suggestive messages:

  • 39% of all teens
  • 37% of teen girls
  • 40% of teen boys
  • 48% admit to receiving suggestive messages
Gone are the days when foolish decisions are relegated to the past.  All one needs to do is break up with their girlfriend/boyfriend and those naked pictures become a site for everyone to see.  Today’s adolescents can be making decisions that could be affecting them for a long time to come.  Here is a great article on what to do The Devastating Aftermath of Sexting.
In wanting our adolescent to develop healthy sexual identities we must talk about the lasting implications sexting may have. Adolescents are not, for the most part, capable of thinking about how their decisions can stay with them. One author writes in Sexting 101:
You see, there’s a special part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex (aka the CEO of the brain) that is responsible for problem solving, impulse control, and weighing out options.  Unfortunately for teens, this area of the brain is not fully developed.  In fact, it doesn’t fully mature until the early to mid twenties.  So, while we expect our teens to know better, the fact is there’s some physiological reasons teens think they’re invincible.
There is this whole world of sexual exploration and exploitation that was not  around when parent’s, like me, were in high school. With these new technologies comes new consequences and teens brains are not fully capable of understanding this.
Now, I am not advocating unplugging the internet or confiscating your child’s phone.  I do, however, advocate having a relationship with your child that is open and honest enough to enter into the quagmires of life together and help guide them to a responsible adulthood.

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